The Florida State Senate is considering a bill (SB 1146) that seeks to balance the scales a bit more for father’s rights.

It’s proof of how many obstacles still exist for fathers in the 21st Century and how family courts do not view fathers as equal citizens or equal parents.

No one seeks to question the rights of the mother, but fathers are required to jump through hoops to prove paternity and then be provided with a state-sanctioned role of fatherhood even though the Almighty provided it.

But like anything in family court, the lawyers need to overcomplicate it.

Sure, paternity tests are simple, if you have the money and a child’s mother who is willing to participate in the testing without a judge compelling her participation, at your expense.  .

Then, once you’d manned up to fulfill your fatherly obligations, the Courts will slow walk the process and the current iteration of the bill gives the child’s mother plenty of opportunity to have her attorney drag out the process while you pay for the pleasure and are being denied the blessing of fatherhood during precious moments.

As a result, the mother will have the sole ability to determine how the child eats, sleeps, diapers it wears, caregivers and which vaccines to administer. The father is left with no role, no ability to determine the upbringing of his child and punished for stepping up and doing the honorable thing.

Shouldn’t the father have a say in whether or not the child is baptized or receives a Jewish Circumcision (aka a “bris”) which is a time sensitive matter. How about holding the child close to one’s chest for bonding as medical professionals often recommend?

Have you ever wondered why some men unfortunately run away from this experience instead of standing by and fighting for their children? Now you have 1 piece of that sad puzzle. It’s why so many leaders like Governor Ron DeSantis realize the importance of fathers and advocate for a Fatherhood Initiative.

Shirking fatherhood is not the answer for most men in the 21st Century who don’t want their children to be one of the 18 million living without a father in America. That’s why people need the help of a political divorce consultant to overcome these stumbling blocks put in front of a blind man.

When the father is trying to do the right thing by his child, why should he be bullied by the process and treated like a criminal?

Why does he have to fill out forms and go through a process to have the same rights as the mother?

Why are we still allowing gender to dictate such paradigms in the 21st Century? It contradicts everything else in our state and federal laws. We are either equal or the courts want to make men indentured servants to the mothers.

Of course, the family law section of the Florida Bar is championing this bill as “good legislation.”

It allows for more litigation in family court so lawyers can bleed fathers dry for being responsible fathers and citizens.

I am not a lawyer or a legislator. I’m just a father who’s lived through this situation and I believe that if the legislature in Florida or any other state wants to reward fathers for doing the right thing, it would be a simple bill that:

• Provides fathers, upon making a request of the court or by proving paternity, if desired by the father, a temporary order granting equal timesharing and joint decision-making for one year.
• The Court should also provide the father up to 7 more days to provide evidence of paternity if not provided at the initial hearing.
• Fathers should be able to do this at a Uniform Motion Calendar hearing or an Emergency Hearing instead of a special set evidentiary hearing which is more costly and can take months to schedule.
• The parents must split the cost of proving paternity 50/50.
• If the mother creates obstacles to this process, she should be penalized with contempt, paying for the father’s attorney’s fees in full, and the full cost of the paternity test.
• The court should even schedule the hearing for 1 year out for the permanent parenting plan at that time and never permit it be extended for more than 14 months from the date of a signed order.
• The temporary parenting plan should have a “de novo” status when considering the permanent parenting plan 1 year later.

This concept, clearly absent from the thoughts of family law attorneys who are poorly influencing our state legislature, gives parents an ability to figure out their new family dynamic without the pressure of litigation. Without litigation consuming their thoughts, many responsible parents will be more apt to focus on the child and reduce the need for litigation.

Family law is supposed to focus on the “best interests of the child” doctrine, not the vengeance of a scorned woman or how a lawyer can enrich themselves from your emotional rollercoaster for a minimum of six to twelve months at a cost of $20,000 to $150,000, to the father seeking to enforce his natural rights.

Fathers are equal citizens under the law.

The old “tender years doctrine” of yesteryear cannot continue to permeate in the minds of the judiciary even if it’s been removed from the statutes, but in my experience, the court still lives by that draconian and discriminatory practice.

I was a single father when my son was born and I was forced to jump through hoops even though I took many actions during the pregnancy (as detailed in the court docket) to declare my involvement and interest in being a father. 

Family lawyers will tell the legislature that rights for fathers is “evolving” under such legislation. We need to stop “evolving” these discriminatory practices and implement full equality for fathers in family court now.

Otherwise, the legislature in our states can blame themselves when the 18 million children without fathers spend more time in criminal courts instead of their mothers’ homes.

If you don’t want this to be your life of the life of someone you care about, contact your legislature and tell them to fix the law, or tell the person you know having this experience to get a good family lawyer expedite a proper resolution and to consider hiring a political divorce consultant who may be able to help them create a strategy for handling this life experience.

*These blog entries and articles represent the personal opinions and experiences of the writer.